Why So Stressful?

The wedding.
My wedding actually. It's definitely been at the forefront of my mind lately.
I've been engaged for nearly 2 years now, so for a lot of that time, the wedding hasn't really been the main focus. But now we're down to the business end of things. I mean, there's still 8 months. But the dress is ordered, I'm thinking about shoes. I'm starting a very diligent skin-care routine.
It seems like every time I turn around someone's asking how the wedding is coming along.
And it would be coming along awesomely, if I had a celebrant organised. And a florist. And a spare $10000.
Why does it have to be so expensive?? Why do you feel obligated to invite every relative? We're not. We're inviting people we can see ourselves still talking to in 10 years time. I'd like the guest list around 50. I've stretched to 70. It's looking more like 80-90. And I'm the meanie. I'm the one saying, 'I'm not having *insert relative I only just discovered I had here* there'.
Did you know I have great aunties and uncles? I didn't. I still don't know their names. So why am I feeling guilty for saying, 'no'?
Not to mention that each extra 'yes' is another $60 for the feed, plus bonbonniere, plus figuring out where they're all going to sit/sleep (the reception venue has cabins, etc).
It makes me wish nobody knew we were getting married. I'd still have a wedding. I'd have a couple of very close friends in on it, and tell everybody else that we were just having an epic birthday or something. Then I'd walk out in a big white dress and there'd be vows and it would be amazing.
I think it still will be amazing. I just wish the 8 months until we get there could be amazing as well.




I'm linking up with Fadra again. Sadly, it's been a while. Head to her site to read the rules, and maybe a few other Streams of Consciousness.