No, J, That's Your *Uvula*

So, it's been a while...
Mostly I had too many ideas of what to write, and not enough decision-making thoughts to actually do it.
And then, I got sick.
On Thursday night I thought I maybe had a sore throat. So I took a lozenge and didn't think anything of it.
Then I woke up on Friday, and definitely had a sore throat, so I brought a whole pack of lozenges to work with me, but left my Nurofen at home (wise move, I know), and by about lunch time I was wincing every time I had to swallow. Even just to swallow WATER. So eating was not really an option.
I got home and told J I thought I had tonsillitis and should probably see a doctor. I asked him to look down my throat and see if my tonsils were swollen/red/unusual in any way.
He had a look and shrugged and said they were a bit red.
On Saturday morning I woke up and could barely even TURN MY HEAD because it hurt and I'm a sook, so J rang the doctor right on 9 o'clock while I was getting my eyebrows waxed and made me an appointment. The doctor said I might need to go to hospital and get a drip, 'just to get on top of it'.
But... I was so not okay with that. I do not like doctors. At all. Or needles. Or even taking medicine unless I KNOW I'm sick. So instead I was stuck with antibiotics and Panadeine Forte and anaesthetic throat gargle and Nurofen AND these numbing antibacterial lozenges.
So on Saturday, I think on a weight-for-weight basis the thing I ate the most of was tablets.
And they gave me HUGE tablets. When swallowing excess saliva hurts, a tablet that is 2cm long is not appealing.
Anyway, I was instructed to keep my liquids up, rest, and take pain meds every 2  hours, alternating between Panadeine Forte and Nurofen.
Haha.
Turns out my body can't handle that much Codeine, and I started vomiting.
Vomiting up past ridiculously swollen and pus-y and painful tonsils. Oh yeah, it was fun to be me on Saturday.
Anyway, I slowly got better from then on. I've slept a lot and drunk a lot of water and not done a lot else.
Although yesterday I made lasagne for the first time ever, and I didn't even use a recipe, and it was freaking delicious. It was absolutely the best first-meal-after-tonsillitis ever.
Also, I read 'Live to Tell' by Lisa Gardner and it was awesome, if you like reading kind of messed up stuff, like ... there's an 8 year old boy who constantly threatens/tries to kill his mother.
But it was really good! Between naps, I barely put it down!
So anyway, hopefully I stay on-the-mend and am back to my usual self soon.
OH YEAH! I forgot the point of the title.
On Saturday when I got home I had a look down my own throat, thanks to a mirror and a torch, and I don't know what J was on about, but they were not 'a bit red'.
So I got him to look again, and he said it kind of looked like I was growing teeth halfway down my throat.
I asked what he was looking at before then, and he thought your tonsils were 'the dangly bit'.
Hence, 'J, that's your *uvula*'
I apologise for my crappy story telling abilities.

SOCSunday: Where I remember Kat

Lately I've been thinking about my cousin, Kat. She was stillborn on November 20th, 2009. Her funeral was one of the saddest, if not the saddest, day of my life. I can't even comprehend how my Aunty Jen managed to keep going. You can read about her journey here.
My sister, T, is thinking about getting a tattoo with 'Kathryn' and a rose underneath it (Kat's middle name is (was?) Rose), and she put her idea to Facebook, where a 'friend' of hers was all, 'what's stillborn mean? lol'
Keep in mind this girl is 18.
And nobody wanted to answer her! Because it was offensive? How the HELL is staying 'she was stillborn. Her heart stopped beating before she was born' more offensive than, 'what's stillborn mean? lol'?!
I know Aunty Jen has struggled because there seems to be some sort of taboo on the topic of dead babies. Why is that? I have another aunty who has lost 3 babies, all before I was born, and I didn't know for years. Even when I was told it was in a whisper, and she was nowhere near us. What if she wanted to talk about it?

Little Kat was born. Not breathing, but still born. She existed. And somewhere, I believe she still exists. In roses, in butterflies, in the colour yellow. In memories and in hopes and in dreams. I wish she was still here. I wish all the babies who die before they even had a chance to live were still here, but I know that can't happen. I really wish all the grieving parents out there could talk about it openly. That can happen. It just means that everybody else has to open their minds, and stop being so insultingly ignorant.

That's my Stream of Consciousness with Fadra, link up and dump your brain for 5 minutes. No editing allowed. 

Black Forest Cheesecake

I'm linking up to Alli-n-son's Sweet Tooth Friday! :) 

I had never made this recipe before. In fact, it was the most complex recipe I've ever attempted. Partly because I'm a newbie to this cooking-for-pleasure thing, and partly because I usually prefer simple food. Steak and mashed potato cannot be overrated :) Anyway, this cheesecake worked out perfectly. Definitely sweet, but not so much that you have to blink twice and stare down at it to make sure it's really not just a spoonful of sugar you're sticking in your  mouth. J suggested I make it with a plain biscuit base, rather than the chocolate, because it was a bit rich for him, but then it wouldn't be black forest ;)

Ingredients:

250g plain, un-iced chocolate biscuits, finely crushed

125g melted butter

3tsp gelatine powder

1/2 cup water

250g softened cream cheese

3/4 cup caster sugar

300mL thickened cream

425g can pitted black cherries

1tbsp lemon juice

For The Topping

1tbsp cornflour

1tbsp caster sugar

1tbsp dark rum (optional)

NB: Never use light cream or light cream cheese, it doesn't set properly, although it will taste the same.

Method:

First, I had to make the biscuits into crumbs. Usually I would use a blender or food processor, but we have neither in the house! So back to wrapping them in a plastic bag, in a tea towel, and taking to it with a rolling pin. 

Melt the butter and pour into a bowl with the crumbs. Mix well.

Get a 20cm springform tin, and line the biscuit mixture on the bottom and sides. You don't need to grease it because of the butter in the base. Because I couldn't get the crumbs fine enough to stick together that well, I just had it on the base. Put this in the fridge for about 30 minutes or until set.

Sprinkle the gelatine over the water in a glass. Stand the glass in a saucepan of simmering water and stir until all the gelatine has dissolved. This actually cracked my glass, so if you have something a bit sturdier I would definitely use that.

In a bowl, beat the cream cheese, sugar and lemon juice. Keep beating until smooth and creamy, but don't overbeat it or the cheese will separate.

In another bowl, beat the cream until soft peaks form. This takes a while. Again, do not overbeat it.

Fold in the cream, cream cheese mixture and gelatine. I didn't get the mix very smooth, but the cheesecake worked well so I don't think it matters too much.

Drain the can of cherries, reserving 3/4 cup of the syrup for the topping.
Take the creamy mixture, and spread about 1/3 of it on the cheesecake base. Scatter about half the cherries over that. Repeat layers finishing with the creamcheese mixture on top. Refrigerate for several hours or until firm.

In a saucepan, mix the cherry syrup, cornflour and sugar. Keep stirring over low(ish) heat until the mixture boils and thickens. If you're using rum (I didn't), add this now. Allow to cool for 10 minutes.

Spread the cherry topping over the top of the cheesecake, swirling gently into the cheese. Refrigerate until set.

Now is a great time to get around to all that mess you made ...

And you're done! Enjoy your yummy, yummy black forest cheesecake

Things Are Coming Along Nicely

I've been whinging a lot lately (okay, for the past 2ish years) that I'm bored. That I have no hobbies. That I need more friends. That we always do whatever J wants to do... the list is practically endless.

And then I realised it's all MY fault. The universe doesn't hate me! I just wasn't doing anything.
While J is quite happy to get home from work and move from *his* spot on the lounge to the computer until he is ready to go to bed, I am not. I'm not happy sitting on the lounge for 3 or 4 hours watching TV that I don't even like. (Sorry to any Family Guy fans)

So on weekends I've been cooking. Yummy things. I'm pretty darn good at it too, if I do say so myself. Biscuits and cheesecake and more biscuits and the occasional awesomely decorated butter cake... and I've absolutely loved it. I love being able to get a bit messy and wear my awesome cupcake apron and I LOVE when I'm finished and J tries some and tells me it's awesome. Not to mention having some yummy cheesecake in the fridge for whenever I get a craving :)

A friend (let's call her C) and I also went to the gym. Now, I have never ever been a gym person. I was always last in races, I skipped every swimming carnival, and just sat on the terraces and cheered people on at Sports Carnival days; but I always used to be thin. Naturally.

Then I finished school and got a job and often a group of friends would just hit up Subway or Hungry Jack's for dinner. I also moved into J's parents' place which has a fully stocked walk in pantry and fridge all year 'round (and J's mum is a freaking amazing cook) and before I knew it, for someone who had never weighed more than 47kg, size 10 clothes were getting tighter. It was a struggle to get into my jeans. I started wearing tracksuit pants.

But now I go to the gym! C and I will be doing a Zumba class every Monday night, J and I will be going for at least an hour over the weekends, and I'm planning on going at least one other night during the week with C ... and it's awesome! Okay, so it's all starting. I've only actually gone to the gym twice, but I'm happy. Happier than I've been for the last year or so.

Also, because I have a lazy boring job I can manage my blog at work, and having this blog and actually working already! It's like a diary that anybody can read, which is oddly ... liberating? Let's go with that :)

Because I've been so happy the past week or so, J has also been happier, and more affectionate, which is always a good thing, and I think my slump is well and truly over. I'm happy. Things are falling into place, and for the moment, I couldn't be happier.